January 2002
On my way to the library, I saw a girl, this is the very first time I saw her at the stairs, she was a ravishing beauty, so elegant in every aspects. I was deeply captivated by her lovely smile & pleasant visage...What was her name? I was thinking to myself. Meanwhile , she disappeared very soon while I was still pondering, thinking of rushing to my destination & thus I did not think any further. Back at home, I thought it was only a crush , however I know it isn't. I began to miss her so much days after days, now then I realize it wasn't just a crush, I was in love !! It was love at 1st sight indeed. I was very certain because of the feelings that was born in that moment. It was truly astounding & astonishing, how I wish to see her again... True enough, I met her again at the canteen. I happen to see her name tag, her name is Melissa, in Greek which means Honey Bee (Interesting ,isn't it?). Unfortunately, she was always with her friends, I tried many ways to approach her... Somehow, I didn't get the chance to talk to her...
Chinese New Year Celebration
A month had passed, I manage to know more about her through her friends in IRC. She was from 3e2, a secretary of both Peer Leading & choir. What interest me the most was the fact that she is a pianist, because I love piano instrumental music & piano is my favourite musical instrument. She was involved in this year CNY celebrations representing her class. I saw her at the porch, she was so ravishing in her cheongsam. I was smitten by her beauty , completely smitten. Although my class was also participating, others see me supporting 3e2 rather than my own class. When it was her turn , she seem quite nervous, but I really like this expression(she was cute). Meanwhile, I was thinking may success goes to her. A few moments later, the results were announced, her class didn't win(how sad...I was shocked !!), but in my eyes she was the best & was the ultimate winner. How I wish I could walk up to her & console her. Somehow I lack the courage! (what a wuss I am...)
BVSS 23rd Speech & Prize Giving Day
Today is a very special day, I was one of the prize winners & thus was waiting for my call in the hall. Every year, the choir & band will be performing, therefore I was expecting her because she is the pianist of choir. Ironically, I was looking forward to her & not the prize. Finally, she walked into the hall at one corner, I saw her grace & elegance. My whole attention was on her while others were enjoying the performance put up by band & choir. This should be a very nervous moment, but after listening to the melodious tune played by her, I felt so relaxed & my nervous was driven away. After the ceremony, I intend to approach her & have a word with her, but I was called up for photo taking session... There goes another opportunity! (was it an excuse? Maybe it was...)
Secondary 3E Oral Exam
She is taking her exams today & I was appointed as the oral exam helper. Somehow, my English teacher knew that I am in love with her, and not only her, the whole class knew. Therefore, my teacher assigned me to 3e2.I was extremely elated & excited(what a lucky chap I am!). Being a coordinator, timekeeper & marks tabulator. I held huge responsibilities, I can't afford any mistakes, but her appearance in the hall makes me lost my concentration(Gosh...). Overall, I still fare well in my work as she was there boosting my confidence... I could tell she was very nervous again, but she scores well, 16/20. (I'm so happy for her!)
Kuala Lumpur Geography Field Trip
The past 4 months were great torture to me, I didn't speak a single word to her at all. I was very miserable because I am still a stranger to her !! I was hoping that this trip could allow me to relax & forget her. Although these 3 days were short, a lot of things happened. One incident was: I met a another girl, I fell in love with her & I confessed my love to her(I don't know why...). But she rejected my love, this was because she knew that I still can't forget Melissa & was using her as a substitute. Yes !! She was right, I really can't forget her, I want to be with Melissa(That was one of my goal in life)!! At this point in life , I confirmed that Melissa is the love of my life !! Suddenly, I remember her birthday is drawing nearer, so I bought a ring & band for her. Really hope that she will like it. (hopefully...)
SP The Young Entrepreneurship Challenge 2002
Ahhh...So tiring after 5 hours of journey from Kuala Lumpur. This Geography Field Trip was so enjoyable, but its a pity that its only for Secondary 4s & 5s, if not she would have come along. At Woodlands Checkpoint, I was about to take a nap, it was then I received this SMS from a friend of Melissa, their team need to do a presentation at SP the following day. I was asked to provide an idea & without asking much I approach all my friends & teachers on bus. However we all failed to come up with innovative ideas. At 9pm sharp, just when I was about to sleep, I pick up my HP & SMS her an idea that I think of suddenly, it was so sudden , it just spark off in my mind just like that !! At this moment, I was hoping that their team could win & bring glory to BVSS. I do this for her, my only love...
National Day (Her Birthday)
My priority in life is as follow: 1st - Love, 2nd - Career, 3rd - Friends, 4th - Family... So when its 9 of August, what happen next? Every year, my country's birthday will reached my mind 1st, but this time round was different, her birthday came to my mind 1st. I felt this was the best time to confess to her & so I wrote a letter comprising of 5 pages, together with the ring & band I bought. I enlist the help of her friend to aid me in handing these items to her secretly(a coward act again...insincere !!). I can only said that I am shy in nature & a coward in dealing with love, that is probably why I failed to accomplish this simple love mission. I was utterly sad when there was one guy who claim that he like Melissa too, then he(love rival) challenged me by saying he is able to send roses to her(he was Melissa's classmate) which I can't... It was then my IRC quitting message was always: It breaks ur heart to see the one u love happy with someone else...but it is more painful to know that the one u love is unhappy with you.GCE O Level
Times Flies, she have not replied me yet & she seem to avoid me whenever she saw me. My academic results had also dropped drastically ever since my love for her increased rapidly. But I didn't regret, it was worth it because I thought this is the best way to prove whether you truly love someone or not(how stupid?). I was so naive, I always imagine that she will send her good luck wishes to me when I am taking my Os. But all this was just imaginations...As expected, my performance was not as good as before. I had already fall beyond the range of top 3 students & my ultimate confidence of getting an aggregate of 10-13 & honour of Top Student has gone. Surely, what happen next was very obvious, I took my exams with no peace in mind , only images of her. How could l ever let her know that I am true with her? True love is rare, it is something to be treasured! (but I just don't know where to start...)Valentine Day 2003
It had been a year, I am now working as a temporary full timer, there is this Love Maple Cake at my workplace which I always want to buy for her during Valentine Day. Eventually I didn't, it was because I receive news that someone had given her roses & cake. At this moment, I felt completely defeated & was utterly devastated(I am late...)!! I came up with this sad line: I lost to Love...I lost to Studies...But I will never lost to Life !! From then, I regard life as very important, without life, you can't even love for love is the greatest thing on earth to me. Even my 1st Oz Clan(a game community group) was named as Life & my 2nd clan was named as Fantasy. At that time, I was hoping for a fantasy of life, a miracle perhaps. Before I receive the bad news, I had sent her my last letter to her stating:
You came into my life...
Quietly, simply, placidly.
And my words stood still...
I couldn't express in words...
Or even simple gestures...
The secret I kept in my heart.
So I loved you in silence,
Admired you from a distance
,Dreamt of you from afar.
I wanted to say I love you...I wanted to say I care,
But cowardly, maybe, you will laugh at me.
In silence I will love...In silence I will care..
Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous.Love is never boast for nor conceited, it is never rude or selfish ,it is not take offence and it is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people sense or delights and the truth.It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
I'd love you... I'd please you... I'd tell you that I'd never leave you, and love you till the end of time...Later 2003
On the 11/8/2003, it was around 6.15 - 6.30. I happen to see her again at Bedok MRT Station, this was fate, I believe.... It was just a shortwhile , I took the escalator down & she took the escalator up... We went 2 different ways, it was said that if you passed by the one you love without any notice, you are'nt fated to be together. I don't how I felt at that time, but I simply don't dare to go ahead & tell her that I want to know her, I want to tell her I love her !! Again, on the 29/08/2003, this is the last time we met. It was Teachers' Day celebration at BVSS. I went back to school with some friends to visit out our teachers, I happen to know that she was performing, so I stay & watched her perform. It was a splendid performance, I was extremely delighted on that day, but on other hand, I was really miserable, because it is the last time I ever saw her again.Aftermath
For the next 25 months (2 years....), I have been thinking of her, not a single day less. Everyday, there is a new life awaiting for me. I live each day just for her...Sometimes whenever I am free, I cycled to her residence just hoping to see her & to maintain my feelings for her. Whenever I miss her, I will look at her portrait(drawn by an artist classmate)... I told myself, she will be my only one & it will be forever. I can lay down my life for her just for how much I love her. There's a saying: Love does all. So I wanted to learn piano just like her, I wish I can start from music theory first and follow by practical. To complete all Grade 8, it takes about 7 - 8 years depending on my progress(but I think grade 4 or 5 is good enough for a guy like me). I wish I will never give up, I will be very persistent in learning piano just like how persistent I am in loving her. I am also a proud channel owner of #melissa & scripter of the one & only Pianist Script. If someone ever ask me will you love her forever? I will say: My Entire Life !! & if someone ever ask me who do you love most: My answer will always be Melissa !! She is the love of my life... Melissa
I really like her alot!, I truly love her, even though I don't know her well, and is not in a relationship with her, but I can feel something is telling me: "She is the one"! I will never forget her, I want to give her bliss, protect her as her guardian and love her, love her & love her !! If she ever see this but I doubt so, hope she can give me a chance, she will know how much I care then.. Sigh...
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